Revelations ~ September 2020

This is a monthly column helping us to get to know our friends and members in a deeper way. We thank Monte High for taking the time to do these in-depth interviews for us.

"One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul."
- Clarissa Pinkola Estes

This is my love letter to our world, to our beautiful Blue Boat Home sailing through the universe. It is a plea and a prayer for all peoples to join together as one, to end the thoughtless violence and destruction inflicted upon one another and upon the earth.

I hear a call, inspiring me to use my voice, to share my heart and soul. I hope that you will listen. Though my words flow from years of contemplation and discernment, I do not claim to possess the truth. I’m only able to express the truth as I see it, from where I sit, with best intentions. I only ask that you respect me, and listen to my words. I do not expect you to agree with me: you are free to disagree. I will respect you, whatever your own discernment may be.

I’ll begin with a story of my life. I think my particular experience has allowed me a unique view of our world. My adventure has presented me with an extraordinary situation to witness our world. It opened a door for me, and the doorway led to unique insight, to an amazing new awareness that I may not have come upon if my life had continued on as usual. 

There are new congregants who may have not have heard my story. I started writing a column, “Revelations”, for the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of the Grand Valley newsletter several years ago. For this column I usually pick a congregant and write an abridged version of their life story. One of those past stories was mine. Regardless, this telling will approach my story from a different angle. You see, I navigate our world sitting in an electric wheelchair, gliding along country lanes and city streets, observing it all; and, when I am centered in my true self, I’m immersed in the beauty of it all. Some 37 years ago, at the age of 20, five horses broke free of their enclosure and two of them collided with my speedy silver sports car. The automobile was crushed on top of me, and the paramedics used the Jaws of Life to pry me out. My body was broken. I was partially paralyzed from the neck down, yet I was alive. I tell you this story not to gain your sympathy, and I certainly don’t need your pity. I came through it all luckier than most people with spinal cord injuries because I do have some limited movement. There were years of grief, of grappling with it all, and adjusting to my new reality. Yet, I’m a pretty happy guy. I am grateful to be alive. I am thankful to be living in this beautiful messy world. I tell this story because I I’ve come to realize that my broken body was a gift. I have suffered, yes, and that alone has taught me plenty – yet the true gift of my disabling is that it set me apart – it set me free. It gave me time to sit still upon the shore and ponder, to contemplate my life and the world around me. The stillness was an opportunity to open my mind and explore new ideas. Books were my escape and my deliverance. I read everything from the Bible to Steinbeck’s “To a God Unknown”. I studied philosophy and religion. Curiosity enlivened me. Science fascinated me. What an amazing, intricately connected world we live in! I examined the world around me, including the different cultures, systems and institutions of humankind. I sought the truth no matter how painful or upsetting.
Stilled, I was made to re-examine my life and create a new way of being. This was my gift. What is truly important? What makes life worth living? What is essential? What is extraneous and only gets in the way of true happiness. The happiness I’m talking about is not without grief. A life without grief is a life without love. True happiness requires an open heart, and an open heart often becomes heavy. What do I truly need? What is the difference between a want and a need, because the wants tend to get in the way of the needs. I don’t need a lot of things to be happy. And I believe a human being is born to be happy – is by God!, intended to be happy. What does it mean to be happy? What do I need to truly be happy?

I think that we, as human beings, have become denatured. We’ve lost much of our connection with the beauty of nature, including the beautiful nature of our selves. Many of us are taught to ignore and deny our emotions and our sensuality. These I believe are given to us, by God!, and are essential to our well-being. I believe I need a spiritual practice to still my mind and maintain the connection to my true self, keeping me aligned with God, or the Oneness of All. Without the practice which brings to the surface my true sacred self, without a heart to filter my words and actions I commit malpractice upon my brothers and sisters and upon the Earth. When I am not centered in love my words and actions sometimes become unfeeling, inconsiderate and mean. (And I am not perfect, which is why I need a practice to keep me centered, so that I less often slip into meanness. Practices such as meditation/prayer, singing and dancing and walking in nature... The best of all of the world’s religions have such practices.)

As a human being, I need clean air to breathe. I need clean water to drink. I need a variety of food to provide the nutrients my body needs. I need shelter from the heat and cold. I need love. Yes, I need love. I need community – I need to feel a part of something larger than myself. I need a special companion, or companions that give me the freedom to share my true self. I need to be accepted and valued. I need to feel that I am worthy. I need a purpose – I need to be needed. I think giving is the key to happiness. And I know that loving is enough, is more than enough, that loving is all. If you love, if you love truly and wholly and unconditionally, what a gift that is. If you are able to love your life, and cherish each moment – what a gift that is to everyone around you, what a gift that is to the world. To live each moment, by God!, as a human being is meant to live – to be love – that is the ultimate purpose and what I strive for.

I think giving is the key to happiness. The gift of your self is the greatest gift of all, a gift that contributes to the well-being of others. Even a heartfelt smile in passing is a thing of beauty! I think that to humble yourself, and to be of service to others brings a long and lasting peace to your soul that leads to true happiness. If you can bring your true, whole, self to the table, what a gift that is.

When I witness the world with my heart wide open it pains me to see my fellow human beings suffering needlessly. The pain and suffering that goes along with grieving a loss has its own inherent beauty, and though grief is painful to pass through, joy is waiting around the corner. But, as I witness the wilderness being destroyed, whole species of plant and animal rapidly becoming extinct, the Earth suffering needlessly, dying because of humanity’s greed – my nervous system goes haywire. When I see people suffering because of the lack of basic needs such as food, or suffering from violent words or actions, hatred or injustice, my heart aches in a way that twists my guts and afflicts my mind. I cannot maintain a happy state of being unless I attempt to make the world a better place, do something to help tip the scale toward justice. I feel the need to stand (with loving kindness) with the Earth, alongside those who are treated unfairly, those who are treated as having less value than other human beings. I need to participate in a benevolent movement.

I am moving toward becoming a whole human being – compassionate, loving and kind. I am practicing every day to set myself free. I am trying to allow my emotions and sensuality to flow freely through me. I am trying to surrender to my true self, to allow myself to be authentic, sitting within the infinite space inside of me, sitting within the divine night where the divine light shines – welcoming each moment as a whole human being. We are living in turbulent times. Fear is real. I need to recognize my fear. Unacknowledged, forced down and denied, my fear will control me. I need to acknowledge my fear – so that my fear doesn’t seize my heart.

More and more people are surrendering to their true selves, allowing themselves to be authentic, sitting within the infinite space inside, sitting within the divine night where the divine light shines, welcoming each moment as whole human beings. In my heart of hearts I know that the way to create justice, and a peaceful world – is through a peaceful and just means. I think the way to shift the benevolent movement forward is to focus on touching people’s hearts. People have the power, and though we won’t likely change the hearts of the powerbrokers or the doubled-down deniers – we will bring more people to the table when we employ a practice of touching hearts. People-power movements succeed by getting more people on board, by forming alliances and growing the numbers until they reach the tipping point that forces the hand of the powerbrokers.

I think humanity needs to garner a loving touch. I think that the best way forward is a nonviolent movement, a multitude of nonviolent movements linking loving arms and standing firm in our resolve. We can build a peaceful movement that stands with dignity against injustice. I think we can form a people-power movement that will strengthen democracies around the world and bring power to the people. We can get out the word, the word that we are navigating through these turbulent times, the word that we are working toward healing our Earth and our human relationships.

First and foremost we need to reach out to our family and neighbors, and listen to their stories with a loving heart, with a nonjudgmental loving heart. We can spread the word and garner hearts with demonstrations, teach-ins, rallies – and we can participate while embracing the love in our hearts, showing our world a better way. We can support or participate in direct, radical nonviolent actions such as sit-ins, or obstructive disruptive theater tactics – and we can perform these with smiles on our faces and kindness in our hearts. Even in the face of rubber bullets, billy clubs and pepper spray – we can keep the love in our hearts. These acts and images will bring more people to our movement than those of violence and destruction. I think violence and destruction damage the movement by taking the focus off of our message. Violence and destruction allow the powerbrokers to feed the unconscious fears. Why else would the powerbrokers send agent provocateurs to incite violence and destruction at rallies? Let’s keep the focus on our message, on building a people power movement and bringing more people on board the peace train.

We can even sprinkle in a little joy. What better way to counter the fascist, white supremacist marching than with song and dance, with a rhythm that brings good vibrations into our world?! What better way to show our resolve, to demonstrate that we will not give up, that our dignity will not be taken from us?! What better way than this, to show our world a better way?! 

Here and now, in the Grand Valley I am making a loving stand alongside my Black brothers and sisters. I pledge to have their backs. I much admire and support the heartfelt, courageous work of local Black leaders in the racial justice movement. I hope to help by garnering hearts, by sharing the heartfelt story of my own white privilege. I proclaim with love that all lives do not truly matter until Black lives matter. Black lives matter!

Life flows on...in endless song…above earth’s lamentation…

(These words are from the hymn “My Life Flows on in Endless Song”, which is included in the Unitarian Universalist hymnal “Singing the Living Tradition”.)