Revelations ~ January 2019

This is a UUCGV Newsletter column helping us to get to know our friends and members in a deeper way. We thank Monte High for taking the time to do these in-depth interviews for us.
 
     Carmine Nugent’s great-grandfather Dante Raso was a musician. He played multiple instruments but the piano was his specialty. He left his village in Italy as a young man, in search of the American dream. He settled into Brooklyn. He lived to be 101 and was very proud of meeting President Carter late in life.
     Carmine is named after his grandfather Carmino Colosimo, a.k.a. Carmine, who also came from Italy. He was living in Grand Junction, working for the railroad when his brother talked him into visiting Brooklyn. The family wanted him to meet a cute girl from the neighborhood that they thought would be a good match. Carmino met Alina Raso; they fell in love, got married and lived in Grand Junction. To Carmine, they would simply be Grandma and Grandpa.
     Carmine was raised by his Mom, Dolores. In many ways Dolores was a brave pioneer, because in those days there was a harmful stigma around single mothers. Dolores worked various retail and office jobs. Grandma and Grandpa were a big help to Dolores, and were a big part of Carmine’s upbringing. They called him Papoose and Pussycat. The Italian village was still very much a part of their culture. Grandpa died when Carmine was five, so Carmine was greatly influenced by strong women. Carmine recalls large family get-togethers for all the holidays. He was especially spoiled at Christmas when his relatives showered him with presents.
     Carmine’s Italian upbringing kindled his desire to create a village for himself. Family and friends are very important to him. Many of his closest friends belong to the UUCGV. The UU congregation is a big part of his village.
     The Catholic Church was a big part of Carmine’s upbringing. He attended Catholic school from grades three through six. Yet, Carmine has always been a reader; he has an inquisitive (overactive) mind. Over the years, he found it harder and harder to accommodate the Catholic dogma. He still finds comfort in the rituals of the Mass, and a couple of times a year he and Susan accompany his Mom to the Catholic Church. And the teachings of Jesus (the Gospels) are a welcome part of his psyche – all the parables and sermons about mercy, forgiveness, compassion, and loving kindness toward all.
     Carmine discovered Unitarian Universalism in the mid-90s, during his 3 ½ year stint living in Oregon. This was a time of contemplation, of deep introspection and soul-searching. He noticed a UU congregation in the vicinity. He was working in a library, so he did a little research. Unitarian Universalism was accepting of all religions and had a long history of working for social justice. It seemed like it might be a good fit for him. Carmine was trying to incorporate into his psyche the best from all philosophies and religions. Working to make the world a better place would give meaning to his life.
     Carmine didn’t work up the nerve to visit the UU’s until after he moved back to his hometown Grand Junction. He discovered that Grand Junction had a UU congregation, but it was months before he stepped through the door. Carmine is very shy. He is a strong introvert, like many UU’s. He happened upon a UU booth at the yearly Earth Day celebration in the park, and the Bradleys convinced him to give the UU congregation a try. At the time the congregation was meeting at the old Mesa State Chapel on North Avenue. The folks were friendly and reached out to him. In particular he remembers Marge Miller, Janet Cummings and David Miller.  They were welcoming and eager to put his willing hands to work. Within weeks he was showing up to the worship service early, placing a UU banner on the sidewalk along North Avenue.
     Carmine has a well-worn children’s book. It’s easy to see why he was drawn to it. It’s called Carmine the Crow. Yet, Carmine the Crow shares more than a name, with the Carmine that we know. Carmine the Crow collects sparkling marvels, and holds them in his treetop nest. He sees far and wide. One day he sees a swan tangled and trapped in the reeds. He flies to his nest and grabs his shiny scissors and sets the swan free. For this he receives a tiny chest of magical star dust. Just a pinch thrown to the wind and any wish is granted. Before he can make a wish for himself he happens upon several of his friends, each with a singular pressing need. Before he realizes it, Carmine the Crow has used up all of his star dust helping his friends. Yet, he is happy being helpful. Giving makes him glad. And it turns out that there is a speck of star dust left after all, enough to make him feel young again.
     Carmine became an official member of our congregation in 2000, not long after he first stepped through the door. He has been active, reaching out his helping hands, as well as participating in various small activity and discussion groups. He was church moderator for the infamous Council of days gone (thankfully) by. He’s taken two turns as the treasurer and been an at-large board member. He’s been a long-standing member of the finance team and enjoys canvassing with the stewardship team. He’s been on the worship team and even did a sermon, though it nearly scared him to death. He has enjoyed attending the Unitarian Universal regional conferences. He’s been a regular at the Wednesday night get-togethers. He even performed alongside the famous Sweeney Sisters as a ventriloquist at a talent show.
     Carmine has learned a lot about himself over the years with the help of his UU village. He has evolved. He now likes to think of himself as a love activist. Dispensing love by the handful; standing on the side of love.
     In 2008 Carmine met Susan O’Neil. They met online and talked on the phone for a year before they met in person. There was a strong magnetic force between the two of them – they were drawn together and then the magnet would flip and push them apart. They had an on-again, off-again relationship for a couple years. They almost got married in Vegas in 2012, but Carmine chickened out at the last minute.
     Yet everything came around beautifully. On Valentine’s Day 2017, Susan and Carmine were married by our own Rev. Wendy Jones at the UUCGV. It was a simple ceremony, with only their close friends Mario and Sandy (and the UUCGV staff) in attendance. Carmine and Susan honeymooned at Disneyland and California Adventure. They rode all the fast rides and roller coasters.
     After some consideration, Carmine and Susan decided they would like to have a celebration, and invite a wider circle of friends and family. They did extensive planning and preparation for the wedding and reception, and on June 3 they celebrated with a renewal of vows.
     Susan and Carmine had fun with all of the traditional pre-marriage rituals. Carmine tagged along and got a pedicure with the girls. Carmine’s bachelor party was fairly tame, though he did get a little wobbly. It was a raucous dinner party. Chris Coolidge was brave enough to attend. Susan’s bachelorette party was a little more lively. Her friends took her to the Magic Men Male Review at the Mesa Theater.
     The wedding ceremony was magnificent. Many tears were shed. The Rev. Wendy once again ushered Carmine and Susan into marriage. We all cheered!
      And then we headed down the stairs to a joyous wedding reception. The hall was decorated to honor those that had passed away and could only be present in spirit. They honored their ancestors – Carmine and Susan are both half Irish, Carmine half Italian, and Susan half Japanese. The food and cake were Italian and the decorations were Japanese. It was extraordinary, heartfelt and beautiful. Yet, most impressive was the corner dedicated to disco dancing, disco-ball and all! The wedding party created a sweet rhythm to get the celebration started. Carmine doesn’t often let loose, but he is a talented dancer. He’s got the moves! And then we feasted and told stories. I had more fun than at any wedding I’ve attended, except for my own.
     Carmine was more relaxed the second time through the ceremony. He was able to take it all in and enjoy it more thoroughly. And because the ceremony was witnessed by the larger community, Carmine settled more thoroughly into the village as a married person. All eyes were on Carmine and Susan. And strange as it may seem, the big commitment to Susan in many ways set Carmine free. He no longer had to worry about the dating game and was able to focus more thoroughly on meaningful relationships.
     Okay, let’s meander back into the early 80s – MTV, Cyndi Lauper, The Police, Olivia Newton-John, Michael Jackson and the Talking Heads. Carmine graduates from Grand Junction high school. He gets an Associate degree in Graphic Communications Printing from Mesa State College. Then, at CMC, Glenwood Springs, he moves into the dorms and focuses on photography. After two quarters he decides to return to Mesa State, where he earns a business degree. He works a year for Rocky Mountain Health Insurance, and then 15 years at the Mesa County library. He worked part-time for the Mesa County elections from 2000 to 2016. Since 2000, he’s been at his current place of employment – Shoe Design, Downtown at 7th and Main.
     Carmine has always loved downtown Grand Junction. Some of his fondest childhood memories are from downtown. His mom worked at Kress, a dimestore. He remembers the thrill of entering the Woolworth’s department store. Carmine enjoys shopping more than he likes to admit. He owns more shoes than his wife. He cherishes walking the exquisite downtown sidewalks. So it’s probably by design and no accident that Carmine works on Main Street at Shoe Design.
     Carmine is a connector; he helps connect people to the shoes they need. He pays attention to detail, keeping track of sales, invoices and inventory for Mario. He also helps out front, arranging merchandise, answering the phone, greeting and ringing up customers. He flows wherever he happens to be needed.
     I asked Susan about their nicknames – Frog and Turtle. Carmine is Frog because for the longest time he was Susan’s prince in training. Susan Is Turtle because turtles have a lot of patience. (Susan has a great sense of humor.) She also wonders whether Carmine perhaps married her for her dog Nikita. She says that she may have married Carmine, but he’s Nikita’s man. She says Carmine is a hoarder of books, his own books, library books, as well as newspapers and pens. There are always piles lying around. He reads multiple books at a time.
     Carmine’s reading encompasses all genres – everything from politics to poetry. Carmine enjoys photography and hiking. He always signs up for the hikes that are offered at the UUCGV service auctions. He enjoys movies, particularly science fiction. He is a big Star Wars fan. One of his favorite movies is “Moulin Rouge” – There Is truth, beauty, freedom and above all things love.
 
Life flows on…         in endless song...